Nonsensical Psychobabble

Start Again - WIP #3

An update on “Start Again” :D Still not complete (because it’s gradually becoming a labor of love XD) But it’s a sizeable update. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated <3 Enjoy, loves!

It was becoming clear to the both of them that he wasn’t going anywhere, even after his wounds had healed; Kassuq insisted that he would stay until he had paid her back for her kindness. But in truth, there was more to it than that. He had grown quite fond of his caretaker, and her sentiments towards him were much the same. She was warm and caring, lively and vivacious. Each day spent with her was a little more that he felt he wanted to live again; a little more that he dug himself out of his gloomy reverie, and opened up to her.

Commonly, he was spotted trailing along with her as she ran errands; chatter amongst the villagers had earned him a new nickname. It had been said that he was like her polar bear dog; stern, quiet, watchful, and always there. But the same chatter had also stirred something less desirable; talk of his ’new face.’ Talk of his intimidating countenance; of his scars, the wild theories on how he got them, and why he was there in the first place. And it wasn’t long before he caught onto their presumptuous ramblings. His better judgment told him to push it to the back of his mind, though; he knew, very well, from his days as a councilman that talk was cheap. Especially when the story was good.

He never could have imagined any of this. He had never anticipated surviving that explosion, nor had he predicted that the ocean’s current would carry his lifeless body to the shores near a small village. When he put on that glove and removed the gas cap, he had no intent on surviving the end result. He didn’t want to survive. And yet here he was.

When he came to, he was greeted by a pair of lovely blue eyes, filled with both surprise and apprehension. He’d have reached out to the woman, if he had the strength. Every last fiber in his battered form burned and ached; the most he could muster was a strained grunt of pain. Her lips moved, but her words fell silent to the ringing in his ears. Before long, though, everything started to fade to black; he didn’t have an ounce left to give.

-

The second time he regained his consciousness, however, the ringing in his ears was gone; in its place was a soft melody, vaguely familiar to him. He was warm; covered with a thick fur blanket, tucked tight into some unknown bed. He slowly cracked his eyes open, only to find that the right side of his face was covered. An attempt to raise his right arm and investigate further was almost instantly thwarted by a rush of pain. Gnashing his teeth, he hissed angrily, frustrated with his current state.

“Be careful! You’re in no shape to be moving yet.” He could feel a gentle hand on his shoulder, coaxing him to lie back down. Those same eyes from before beamed back at him. “You need your rest.”

Reclining into his former position, he took a moment to inspect his surroundings; this woman apparently lived in a small home, and was seemingly not of a wealthy background. A lone lantern lit the room, sitting atop his bedside table, next to a basin of water, and a neatly folded stack of bandages. His compromised gaze fell back to his caretaker; as her blue eyes suggested, she looked to be of water tribe descent. Her skin was fair, for someone of such lineage, and her hair dark. Realizing that she seemed uncomfortable under such scrutiny, he lowered his eyes.

“Are you hungry?” She asked.

Tangled, frayed nerves conjured a nauseous feeling at the pit of his stomach; food was his last concern. “No.” He said.

She smiled softly. “Ah, so you do speak.”

He sat dismally, staring out the window at the night sky, lost in silent contemplation.

“I don’t know what happened to you, but you’re in pretty rough shape. I’ve bandaged your burns, though. And with enough rest you’ll be well on your way to recovery soon enough. It’s luck that I found you when I did.” She sat nervously for a moment, but he said nothing. “Anyway, my name’s Suluk.”

This was an introduction, he supposed. And what should he call himself now? Tarrlok? No. Tarrlok was no more.

“… Kassuq.”

“Heh. An appropriate name, considering how I found you.” She smirked at him, but his face remained devoid of any emotions. “Well, Kassuq, I’m going to see to it that you get better.”

He didn’t have much choice in the matter, in his current situation. If the gods were so insistent on him carrying on, he was going to start over. A new name. A new face. A new life, in a new land, away from Republic City, where no one knew him. He felt a bitter twinge at the thought; it all sounded eerily familiar to him. A shameful scoff escaped his chapped lips.

-

As the weeks passed, his physical state gradually started to resemble that of his old self. His burns had healed enough for the bandages to come off. There was barely a trace of pain left in his limbs. With Suluk’s assistance, he was up and walking again.

Ah, miss Suluk. What an interesting thing she was. He still scarcely spoke to her, but he always acknowledged her words. She could spout for hours if she wanted to; about her silly younger siblings, about insignificant happenings around the tiny village. Seldom did he have a decent response for her ramblings, but he always listened; and somehow, she knew it.

This was shaping into another of those evenings; he sat upright in the bed that had been his haven for some time now, and she sat comfortably on the edge, facing him as she spun her tales for him.

He had gathered that he was about ten years her senior; she spoke not much of a ‘family’ or anyone close to her, save for her younger brother and sister, of whom she took care. While she didn’t appear to be a bender herself, she noted that her younger sister was training to become a healer, and that their brother was escorting her on her journey. They had left a few months prior, and Suluk had spent the time since by herself. He couldn’t help but detect a certain air of emptiness in her voice when she spoke of them.

An emptiness he knew all too well. But now, it was an emptiness far different from the void he felt when Noatak left him behind when they were young.

“You miss them.”

His hoarse voice startled her out of her reverie for the moment. She flashed him a bittersweet smile before averting her gaze, in a feeble attempt to mask the tears that had started to sting her eyes. “I do.” She mused for a moment before continuing. “When our parents left, I took them in and raised them like they were my own.”

He was starting to grow weary; having not had the best relationship with his own father, hearing of bad parenting, or even a lack thereof, made him sick to his stomach.

“I’m sorry.”

Stretching his arm, he placed his hand atop hers, giving a gentle squeeze; a reassuring gesture that brought a smile back to her face. “Thank you… Kassuq.”

Little did he know, though, that the small, tender gesture would be the start of more than he ever could have bargained for.

-

It was becoming clear to the both of them that he wasn’t going anywhere, even after his wounds had healed; Kassuq insisted that he would stay until he had paid her back for her kindness. But in truth, there was more to it than that. He had grown quite fond of his caretaker, and her sentiments towards him were much the same. She was warm and caring, lively and vivacious. Each day spent with her was a little more that he felt he wanted to live again; a little more that he dug himself out of his gloomy reverie, and opened up to her.

Commonly, he was spotted trailing along with her as she ran errands; chatter amongst the villagers had earned him a new nickname. It had been said that he was like her polar bear dog; stern, quiet, watchful, and always there. But the same chatter had also stirred something less desirable; talk of his ’new face.’ Talk of his intimidating countenance; of his scars, the wild theories on how he got them, and why he was there in the first place. And it wasn’t long before he caught onto their presumptuous ramblings. His better judgment told him to push it to the back of his mind, though; he knew, very well, from his days as a councilman that talk was cheap. Especially when the story was good.

When he was well enough, he found odd jobs around the village, and started saving up to help repay Suluk for all she’d done for him. At first it took a toll on his body, but once he started adapting to physical strain again, it proved a great help in his recovery. He felt different than he ever had before; motivated by a newfound vigor.

After a long, tiresome day, he made his way back to the place he’d now called home. Suluk rushed him back to his bed, as she usually did, and gently scolded him for pushing himself too hard. She had made them tea on that particularly cold evening. Admittedly, though, he was quite tired. Perhaps a day of rest wouldn’t be such a bad thing. But what was weighing on his mind was something completely different than pushing himself too hard. Something he’d tried to ignore for a while now.

“Suluk?”

“Hm?” She met his eyes, genuinely surprised that he addressed her first.

“These scars… are they frightening? ” He hung his head, almost shamefully, to his lap. “Am I really such a monster?”

Her jaw dropped. “Mons-… who would say such a thing?” Blue eyes softened as she looked upon him in disbelief. “Kassuq, no.”

Warm, dainty fingertips grazed his cheek. without hesitation; over the scars that he spoke of. “You’re always so serious. Sure, maybe it’s intimidated some of the villagers, but that’s because they haven’t gotten to know you for what’s underneath the scars. I’m sure it was just thoughtless words. Try not to let it bother you, alright?”

She touched his chin. “Look at me.” His face wore a vaguely pained expression, but his eyes met hers. “Ever since that day I found you, not once have you ever given me the reason to believe that you’re a monster. And anyone who says otherwise is a fool. You‘ve been nothing but wonderful.”

Reassuring words, indeed.

“Except maybe that unruly hair of yours.” She joked, brushing a few of the stray clusters from his face, and tucking them behind his ear. For a moment, she wondered if her eyes were playing tricks on her. She could feel her heart beat grow faster; he was actually smiling. And what a lovely smile it was; just as she knew it would be. “I was starting to wonder if you could actually do that. Heh. Perhaps if you smiled more often, people might not be so intimidated by you.”

He raised his arm and stroked her cheek tenderly. “No one else makes me this happy.”

Her face grew unbearably hot at the intimate gesture, and the warm sincerity in his eyes. She smiled sheepishly back at him. Kassuq lowered his hand, as well as his gaze. “Thank you.”

Acknowledging his words with a solemn nod, she rose to her feet. “Now how about I fix that hair of yours?”

-

They continued on like this; spending the evenings enjoying one another’s company. Kassuq had been recovering well. He was back in tip-top physical shape. His scars, though, were not fading; a constant reminder of how he had gotten them. On occasion, he would sit and dwell on his past doings. But Suluk was always there to help pull him out of his gloomy reverie; something for which he was grateful.

He was well enough to be able to hunt and to fish; the life he was leading now was far different from his life back in republic city, but the old-world feel of this village was a welcome change of pace. Today’s hunt didn’t quite go as planned; perhaps he was over-zealous, and in turn a little sloppy. He had slipped on a patch of ice, and hurt his ankle. He was sure it wasn’t serious, but the pain certainly put a damper on the task at hand. By the time he limped home, though, darkness had fallen.

Assuredly, she was there waiting for him; this time, though, the concern was written in her features. “Kassuq! I was starting to worry…”

With an exhausted huff, he rested his weight against the door frame. “Looks like I got a little ahead of myself.”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I just… twisted my ankle.” He limped a few steps closer, stopping a few feet from her.

“It’s not broken, is it? Sprained?” She rose from her chair to help support his weight, stretching his arm over the span of her shoulders.

“I don’t think. Painful, that’s all.”

“Let’s get it wrapped up at least. C’mon.”

He scoffed as she toted him back to the bed he knew all too well. “I feel like I just got off of bed rest.”

She giggled at his lack of enthusiasm as she changed her stance, signaling for him to sit down. “You’ll be alright. I promise.” He sunk onto the bed, and she was quick to wrap his injured foot in a makeshift support. He maneuvered into a more comfortable position and shed his coat. The sight of a dark red spot on the elbow of his tunic triggered a gasp from Suluk. “Oh goodness, you’re bleeding!”

It must have been from his attempt to catch his fall; the pressure must have broken the skin. “I’m sorry.”

She cocked her head as she looked at him, genuinely surprised by his choice of words. “Why are you apologizing?”

“For being such a burden on you.”

Rose lips curled into a smile. “It’s only a ‘burden’ if I mind doing it. And I don’t. Look here.” She dabbed a cold, wet cloth against the small scrape on his forehead. “But I’d be lying if I said you’re not accident-prone.” He let a stiff chuckle; a pleasing sound to her ears. She pressed on the bump on his forehead, receiving a small ‘ouch’ in response. Both of them laughed; this kind of teasing was becoming increasingly common between the two of them.

“There we go. Let’s see what the rest of the damage looks like.”

Taking hold of the lower hem of the tunic, he raised it above his head and slipped it off. Suluk felt her cheeks grow warm as she watched. He really was toning up. She shook her thoughts, though, and shifted focus back to his injuries. The same cloth dabbed against his bloodied elbow. “Heh. Goodness, Kassuq, you really are clumsy sometimes.”

He watched her as she bandaged his elbow; it never ceased to amaze him how careful and how gentle she always was. “All done.” She proclaimed, placing the leftover materials on the nightstand. He continued to study her as she picked his discarded garments up from the floor and laid them in the chair near the bed. Placing her hands on her hips, she looked to be contemplating her next move.

“Suluk.”

She turned to face him, hands still firmly planted on her hips.

“Come here.”

For a moment, she wondered what he was playing at. He was in rare form that night; it was seldom that he was so playful. “Why?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

Lowering her hands, she strode back towards the bed. In her attempt to sit in front of him, her foot became entangled in the blankets and she felt herself topple over. Thankfully, she was caught by two strong arms. Her face turned red as she looked up at him, only to find him chuckling softly. “I thought you said I was the clumsy one.”

Recoiling from his grasp, she sat upright; cheeks still ablaze, and still grinning from ear to ear. He leaned in for a closer look. Her eyes met his, and she chewed nervously at her lip.

“Don’t worry. I’d take care of you.” He reassured, still wearing that gorgeous smile.

She leaned closer, and spoke in a hushed whisper. Her heart leapt at their closeness, but she kept her composure. “You would?”

“In a heartbeat.” His mirrored her in both motion and tone.

“I dunno. You might mess something up.”

“Well, I would try.”

He raised his hand and traced a finger down her jaw line, stopping at her chin, where his thumb parted those lovely lips of hers. Bridging the gap between them, she shifted forward, pressing a soft, tentative kiss against his lips. She moved to pull away, but not before he moved in to steal another. It dawned on her that this gesture was a welcome one, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He finally broke the kiss, and pressed his forehead tenderly against hers. “I love you.” He whispered.

She smiled, tears stinging her eyes at the sensation of her heart racing so fast. “I love you too.”

Without hesitation, she moved in for another; deeper, and more passionate. She could feel his hands come to rest on her hips, edging her closer. When he had her where he wanted her, his fingers grazed her neck and her collarbone softly, just enough to tickle gently; the sensation sent a chill down her spine. He was greatly pleased with the soft gasp it produced.

They took their time exploring one another; there was no rush. This was something each of them wanted to savor; something each had been holding back for some time. When the time was right, they sought refuge under the blankets, and they pushed the rest of the world out; and for that while, in their cozy fortress, they were all that existed in the world. Nothing else mattered.

-

To Be Continued ;)